I have learned a new concept lately called Re-Grief. I have been calling it secondary grief, but I think re-grief fits better.
I lost my dad when I was 17, just a few months before my high school graduation. So much has changed since then. And my grief has resurfaced numerous times over the years as I consider all that I am missing out on with my dad.
My kids have moments of re-grief too, when they realize what they are missing out on with their grandpa or their brother. As time goes on, and they grow older, they come to realizations that they are missing their person from these moments too.
Grief isn’t cut and dried in one moment. It’s not a simple saying goodbye at a funeral. It’s a continual, life-long process. Its grief, over and over, throughout our life, as we hit new milestones and moments that our loved one is missing for and we are missing them for.
As we move through life, we are reminded of our loss, how things could be different and what we are missing out on. And as we age, we learn again and again how our losses have changed us.