While working on some projects for Elias this weekend, I asked my mom a question about my dad – did dad like reading?

And in asking that question, I learned something new about my dad. He not only enjoyed reading, but was fundamental in the securing of a library for the town we lived in at the time.

I learned something new about my dad even though he has been gone for 13.5 years.

Talking about those that we love that are gone is important. It honors their memory, it validates our anguish, it brings solidarity with others, it brings healing to our loss story to acknowledge it.

And I realized this week yet another reason it is important: just as we can never fully know a person while they are with us, so to we can keep learning about those who are gone.

We all have different relationships and each connection may hold a different story of you. What one friend may remember is different than what a family member may remember and is different than a coworker may remember.

Sharing about our loved ones can teach us about them, how others saw them, what they taught others or what impressions they made.

So let’s keep asking questions and telling stories and sharing memories. Let’s honor those who have died, let’s honor their memory and our grief. And let’s be more comfortable in asking the questions that can lead to deeper conversations.